Thursday, June 23, 2016


Tamara Leigh here, back with Friendship Snippet #6. In my last snippet, I addressed Christian friendship. This time—non-Christian friendship.

Though God doesn’t want us to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t bless and be blessed by friends who don’t share our faith. I have a friend I love and admire tremendously. For years, she was in the innermost circle—an “iron” friend. But as my faith grew, her lack of faith caused me to move her to the “good friend” circle since any attempt to talk about my faith resulted in borderline aggressive posits that if there is a God, how could I be so arrogant to believe my God is the true God?

How did this friend’s attitude affect my faith? It made me question it to the point the edges crumbled and the middle began to sag—until I moved her to the “good friend” circle. Today, when she faces tough times, I quietly pray for her and, where possible, offer advice on how to deal with her hurdles. And sometimes I put a toe over the line to see if anything has changed. “Like it or not,” I’ll say, “I’ll pray for you.” This is usually met with silence, a change of topic, or a derogatory comment. However, there was a bit of progress a while back when, in response to my offer of prayer, she said, “I guess it couldn’t hurt.” I long for this friend to be in that innermost circle, but until we meet over Christ, neither of us can be our best for the other.

And there you have it. Next Friendship Snippet—Unhealthy Friendships.


  1. It's hard when a friend doesn't share such an important part of you, but I believe your just being available will make a difference. Had a SS teacher once who said, "You're the only Bible some people will ever read."

    1. What your SS teacher said--fabulous! Thank you for dropping by, Patricia.

  2. Oh Tam - you are sooooo right!! And Patricia - Amen sister, Amen!
    We are called to be light and salt in this world. These are 2 elements that are very stable and constant. When our unsaved or "borderline" friends are floundering or confused or overwhelmed with life situations - they will seek out something or someone that exhibits stability, strength, a constant that does not change. Oh they know who your Rock is, but they won't seek out the Rock themselves as they feel they don't deserve to call on God as they feel that they've turned their back on God, so why wouldn't God do the same. They will get as close as possible which means reaching out to you. We become "Jesus with skin on" for them - an approachable being, but one that they can chose to shut off when they've gotten enough Jesus to comfort them, but not enough to change them. And that gets frustrating, but as you said Tam - this is why we keep them as a "good friend" but not an "inner circle" friend. You must be discriminating enough about a friend to know if this is "iron sharpening iron" or someone who is just sucking the life out of you. Both can approach on the level of "friendship" - but one will leave you with a new edge - the other will eventually leave you dead. Your wisdom Tam is so On Point and it's one of the reasons I so love reading your books. You write with the heart of God but with the wisdom of God also. I liken reading your books to the story of Ruth - she went into Boaz's field to glean a little, but she came out with much! Snippets - but yet a Feast!

  3. Always wonderful to hear from you and receive your beautiful wisdom, Pam. You said it better than I. Thank you for blessing me and others.

  4. Oh Tam, I could never say things better than you - that's why you're the writer and I am . . a cook. I express myself better from kitchen creations and you from a writers creation. God has blessed us and used each of us for the His glory in the way He designed us - I am more a "Martha" and you are more a "Mary" - and each is needful - but I am sooooo thankful for you and your writing ability. I have been "rockin & readin" on my back porch today - one of your books - and it has been such a pleasure to breath in the wisdom of your words - and this one is also full of your southern wit - a true blessing to enjoy!! Thank you!!